Ramblefest

It's always late at night when I remember that I vowed to write a blog every day. I have a headache and there's a massive storm blowing outside and I haven't got out of bed all day (except to eat, shower, toilet) and I finished reading American Gods and I slept and I watched the entire week of Shortland Street and I watched Monday's episode of Desperate Housewives and now I am caught up on television and it is funny how that all links together and I am worshipping the god of the tv but then if I wasn't worshipping the modern gods like technology and all that then I wouldn't be worshipping the traditional gods anyway because that's just not me. And I was thinking about the last nine-week period and the ten-week period before that and the seven-week period before that and the six-week period before that and the 39-week period before that and the eight-week period before that. And I am wondering why I let those 39+6=45 weeks go on for so long when they should have been over in the same time as all the other phases of life or maybe even less. And I am adding up the numbers even further and 8+39+6=53 and that is just over one year and if you count back the weeks you will see that that 53 week period is pretty much just 2009 and I wonder why 2009 was as it was. But if 2009 hadn't happened then 2010 so far wouldn't have happened either and I wonder what would have been different? And maybe my life would have been a whole lot easier but then I wouldn't have gone through the same experiences and I wouldn't be the same person that I am today so I guess at the end of it all I can only be glad that it happen and that I learnt my lesson and hope that I won't do dumb shit again. And every now and then I realise that I have grown up a little and in some small way I am more mature and I feel good about that because I thought I would never grow up, and I still feel like a child but I know that if I have to then I can do whatever I need to do. I might not have much worldly knowledge or experience but I know that I will get by and I know that if I need help there are people who will help me. And I know that awful things are going to happen in my future, things that will devastate me at the time and I will feel like it is never going to get better but then it will and I won't even notice it happening but then one day I will just realise that everything is OK again and the fact that everything is OK will make me feel much much more than OK.