This one's called Gregory.

Yay for another directionless late-night blog! Yay for filling it with pictures to make it appear more interesting than it really is! Yay!

1. I think Twitter has kinda made me dumber. I now have trouble paying attention to anything over 140 characters. Then again, that's probably just because I'm tired. I don't seem to have any trouble if it's, say, a fantasy novel. Not that I really know because I don't have time for fantasy novels anyway. Er, I got lost in there somewhere. Too many characters

Know your limits

2. We won our heat in Battle of the Bands. It was a surprise. I definitely did not factor more band practices for finals into everything I have to do this week. Sigh. Anyway, here we are.

If you look closely you can see Andy's bra

3. It's really fucked up how there are pornos of girls sucking dildos and moaning like they get off on that shit or something. Like, yeah, having a big piece of rubber in your mouth is totally hot.

This is probably mid-orgasm

4. I seem to be undergoing some peer pressure to shave my armpits. I think anyone who freaks out at a little bit of hair should seek help though. So sexist.

PLEASE don't tell me you'd rather bang plastic moaning dildo girl. I'll cry.

5. There are quite a lot of people that I think are really seriously awesome and it makes everything a little bit easier. Most of the people in my life fall into this category. That's pretty good, huh? Of course there are also a lot of people I hate, but I think we've already been into that...

Anna is one of the people that I like quite a bit.

6. I think I'm losing my sweet tooth

Well ok maybe I still get a little excited over this. I might.. need a moment to myself now...

Welcome To My Late Night Blog

It has occurred to me that I am simultaneously exceedingly self-assured, and lacking in self-esteem to an inhibiting level. This applies to pretty much all aspects of life, I think.

I am not sure how this is possible. Hoping that this discovery will lead to some breakthrough in the laws of quantum physics, resulting in a Nobel Prize or some form of profit meaning I never have to work a day in my life ever again.

(Plan B is still the career as a musical science educator).

Also, I need to stop developing infatuations with public figures, and find someone with whom I have some chance of a two-way relationship.

Wait... relationship?!

Fuck that. Unrequited love is waaaay easier.

To close, I hate everything but you. (yes, you!) (unless you are someone I hate. But if you are reading this you probably are not. Quite honestly if you are reading this you are probably imaginary which is totally cool with me.)

Boiler Lady

At some point I decided it would be a fantastic idea to stay up until 1am writing a song about thermodynamics. Here it is. It is a tragic story about love and loss.


I was on the prowl for a mistress
To take some of the chill off my winters
I took you home coz you looked cheap and easy
I didn't know how much you would please me


You are the one who makes my blood bubble
But if I fall in you I'll be in hot trouble
You would never let me feel cold
But I fear that you're gunna vapourise my soul


You're too hot to be an economiser
You're too cool to be a superheater baby
You start off wet and then you get steamy
And that's why I call you my boiler lady
Ooooooh I change state in you
Ooooooh that's why I call you my boiler lady


For someone whose temperature doesn't change
Your turbulent behaviour seems strange
When you get on your Rankine cycle
You transform into a raging psycho


You're too hot to be an economiser
You're too cool to be a superheater baby
You start off wet and then you get steamy
And that's why I call you my boiler lady
Ooooooh fluid in your tubes
Ooooooh that's why I call you my boiler lady


Your fuel bills are way through the roof
And you're fussy about what I put in you
If I inject you with unsoftened water
We're gunna end up with a limescale daughter


You're high maintenance to the max
And always blowing shit out your stack
All that coal has made your heart black
And I need a whole room for you you're so fat


Boiler lady I found a new lover
She comes with a sign that says do not cover
I can turn her on with the flip of a switch
So good riddance to you, you carbon spewing bitch


You're too hot to be an economiser
You're too cool to be a superheater baby
You start off wet and then you get steamy
And that's why I call you my boiler lady
Oooooh It's not me it's you
Oooooh goodbye my darling boiler lady




And here is a picture of me hiding behind my ukulele like a creeper.

Update: I recorded it. Featuring my bad ukulele-ing, worse singing and plenty of clipping :)

  Boiler Lady by smittenerest

OBLUBLAH

Oblublah is such a fantastic word.


I think I first heard it on the television or something as a kid. It was probably just a random noise or something, but I loved it. So I invented an illness for my soft toys called The Oblublas. The Oblublas is the most terrible affliction. It is a combination of EVERY DISEASE IN THE WORLD. Poor old Tigger used to get it all the time. Brendon and I had to go and make him medicine every time he came down with the Oblublas, which I think was every time we were bored. His special medicine required involved picking a selection of flowers and leaves from the garden, mushing them up in a sieve with water and then forcing them down his throat. He hated it, but it helped. Luckily Tigger hasn't had the Oblublas for years and years now. Here he is now, chilling with me. I know he's looking a bit under the weather, but that's just old age. He must be nearly 120 by now. It's definitely been a long, long time since we celebrated his 105th birthday, anyway.

Hahaha, I just noticed there's a picture of him in the background on my wall too. He's wearing a hat that is a little tiny bit too big for him. How comical.

Anyway. In recent times I have begun using the word "oblublah" as an expletive. It is just so wonderful in every way. Next time something goes wrong, instead of swearing, try just screaming "OBLUBLAH" instead. It releases anger and frustration and is amusing, lightening one's mood, all at the same time.

I also have redefined "the Oblublas" to be not a combination of every illness in the world, but rather a general feeling of, er, well, Oblublah. Whatever you interpret Oblublah to mean.

All I can tell you is that I felt Oblublah and then I called it Oblublah and then because the word Oblublah is awesome I now don't feel Oblublah anymore. It's magic.