Boiler Lady

At some point I decided it would be a fantastic idea to stay up until 1am writing a song about thermodynamics. Here it is. It is a tragic story about love and loss.


I was on the prowl for a mistress
To take some of the chill off my winters
I took you home coz you looked cheap and easy
I didn't know how much you would please me


You are the one who makes my blood bubble
But if I fall in you I'll be in hot trouble
You would never let me feel cold
But I fear that you're gunna vapourise my soul


You're too hot to be an economiser
You're too cool to be a superheater baby
You start off wet and then you get steamy
And that's why I call you my boiler lady
Ooooooh I change state in you
Ooooooh that's why I call you my boiler lady


For someone whose temperature doesn't change
Your turbulent behaviour seems strange
When you get on your Rankine cycle
You transform into a raging psycho


You're too hot to be an economiser
You're too cool to be a superheater baby
You start off wet and then you get steamy
And that's why I call you my boiler lady
Ooooooh fluid in your tubes
Ooooooh that's why I call you my boiler lady


Your fuel bills are way through the roof
And you're fussy about what I put in you
If I inject you with unsoftened water
We're gunna end up with a limescale daughter


You're high maintenance to the max
And always blowing shit out your stack
All that coal has made your heart black
And I need a whole room for you you're so fat


Boiler lady I found a new lover
She comes with a sign that says do not cover
I can turn her on with the flip of a switch
So good riddance to you, you carbon spewing bitch


You're too hot to be an economiser
You're too cool to be a superheater baby
You start off wet and then you get steamy
And that's why I call you my boiler lady
Oooooh It's not me it's you
Oooooh goodbye my darling boiler lady




And here is a picture of me hiding behind my ukulele like a creeper.

Update: I recorded it. Featuring my bad ukulele-ing, worse singing and plenty of clipping :)

  Boiler Lady by smittenerest